Time doesn't buy

I have a really bad day today.

Which I stayed at the studio most of the time and trying to get myself busy.
I enjoyed doing the calculation and I ignored the outside world for a while.

*tears*

The tears seems so friendly today.
I cried each time I changed the design sheet and again I continued my calculation.
The biggest sadness that I feel for this semester.

I thank Allah for every moment and every person that I have in my life.
No, I never regret about that.
Everybody told me that I am lucky to have friends like them.
Each day I woke up and feel so blessed.

When you knew a person, time is not a problem.
You may know a person for a while but turns out he/she is a very good friend to you.
Even you have said you knew that person for a long time, it is not a matter anymore.
Even though you knew a person for about 10 years, still, you tend to hurt that person easily.
And;
You tend to get hurt so badly.

I suffocated. Like seriously.
And I just have a thought whether this is the end of my life.
I was shaking as hell as I never have that before.
But my mind still can't stop from thinking what did I miss for the past few years?
Did I miss something that I was too blind too see?
Or am I just being so selfish?
The questions were on and on and on, again and again.

Maybe I am the odd one.
Maybe I am the fake-saint-bitch.
Or maybe I am the silly-freak woman who needs to just shut the hell mouth up.

Or maybe I just don't deserve each one of them.

:'(

Told you.
My tears are so friendly today.

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